No shame in getting a little help to plan a passionate night for you and your loved one
If you haven't already guessed, from the title of the article, I tend to get starry-eyed when the subject of love is raised. While I'd like to blame the countless fairy tales Disney lambasted little girls with, when I was growing up, I never watched any of them. There were no white knights saving Princesses locked away in ivory towers, in my dreams, because I didn't get tucked in with bedtime stories.
The small glimpse I got of 'happily ever after' came at school. My female peers would carry on with Barbie and Ken; concocting a whole manner of fantastical pretends that would both fascinate and perplex me.
In the world they created, everything could be just as they wanted it to be.
So when I got back home, and busied myself with the Legos my parents chose as the appropriate cognitive and developmental stimulation for a child, I'd pretend I was building mansions where my suitor and I would live. Almost twenty years later and that little girl lives on within me.
Thankfully, I have enjoyed intimacies with individuals who have indulged me. They've planned some phenomenal dates. Last week, I shared a few of them with my best friend, in my excitement for Valentine's Day and her only response was, "teach me."
Push the boat out a little, and plan a truly memorable experience that you and your lover can enjoy. Not only will they appreciate the extra effort you've put into showing them you care, the date has the potential to go down as one they'll reminisce years after the candles have been blown out - so to speak.
Dinner:
This is a classic date idea because food brings people together.
Whenever my parents came to visit me and my older brother in boarding school, they would take us out to for a meal. "Have you eaten," is a love language on its own.
Cape Town has a spoil of unique restaurants that are worth a visit. My fondest foodie experiences have been at Hussar Grill in Mouille Point, Blowfish Restaurant and VIXI Social House.
Johannesburg is equally impressive with eateries that include Signature, Amuse Bouche Food and Wine, Marble, and Clico Restaurant.
If you live in Port Elizabeth and haven't tried Coachman on The Bay, I question your choices. Similarly with East Londoners who haven't been to either Grazia or Pinecreek Restaurant.
An intimate dinner by candlelight is a great way of reconnecting with your partner. You're also sure to get a few tips on what you can prepare your better half if you ever want to attempt a home-cooked meal.
Spice up Movie Night:
In the age of Netflix and Amazon.TV are we still going to the cinema? Paying for overpriced popcorn to sit in the dark and listen to strangers whine through the car wreck that is the Matrix Resurrections – does that sound like fun to you?
Level up date night by springing for tickets to an outdoor cinema. Galileo Open Air, in Cape Town, always has an enviable selection of locations and films to choose from. The pair of you could drive out to the wine lands for a movie date with a twist or make the most of your night under the stars, in Kirstenbosch Gardens.
If an even more intimate setting is what you're after, you're simply an entry-level projector and few strategically placed patio pillows away from turning your backyard (or balcony) into a home entertainment system just for the two of you.
Explore the Great Outdoors:
Dinner and a movie can get a little predictable. Speaking as a thrill seeker myself, I’ve had some of my best memories getting to know someone on a hiking date. We were of similar fitness levels, so we were able to match each other’s pace as we scaled Table Mountain. We also both got to see the Mother City in a way we'd never seen it before.
Your local botanical gardens is a fail-safe spot that is guaranteed to have a beautiful corner that will feel private and romantic. If you're not particularly sporty, you can skip the hike, pack a picnic basket instead and treat your date to a wonderful afternoon within nature.
Learn a skill together:
I’m going to regret admitting this but I did ballroom dancing in high school. I can waltz, tango and foxtrot. When I periodically drive through Sea Point on a Sunday afternoon, I watch two-steppers dancing on the promenade. For a moment, I consider falling in-step with them, but I am yet to find a partner brave enough to join me.
Dance classes are a great way to enjoy your combined chemistry and explore sensuality with your partner. If you were born with two left feet, cooking classes or an afternoon of clay painting can be incredibly fun too.
A Night of Live Entertainment:
When was the last time you went to the theatre, laughed yourself silly at a comedy show, joined a mosh pit at a concert?
We tend to get stuck in romantic ruts when the time we spend with our loved ones follows the same routine. Break the cycle, and treat your S.O. to some care-free fun. There's no way you won't have a good time throwing shapes with your beau on the dance floor.
Indulge your Inner Child:
“The world is a playground. You know it when you’re a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it” – Alison, Yes Man (2008)
For my last night as a 24 year old, my then boyfriend planned a night at the arcade. It was just him and I, and dozens of games to ourselves. He beat me at dunking, while I was surprisingly good with the race cars and super bikes. Ashley had to pull me away from the coin pusher at some stage, as I’d drained half my tokens through it. I'd shared with him that, for my birthday, I wanted to feel like a kid again and his efforts resulted in my favourite birthday to date.
Amusement parks are such fun. A night of ten pin bowling, an afternoon at the driving range, ice skating, trying out a bounce or escape room - all these activities give you a chance to be silly with your date. I've always thought it to be important that people in relationships learn to laugh at each other and laugh together.
Hop around:
In 2018, a guy I met online suggested we forgo the cliched chatter we'd have to churn out over cocktails and suggested we go on an art crawl instead. We’d both been meaning to catch up on the local exhibitions. Our first date lasted eight hours because after gallivanting from one gallery to the next, we decided to quench ourselves with the bottle of wine we'd been avoiding. A well selected Syrah turned into a few plates of starters which turned into a spot of dinner and dessert.
Sufficed to say, our second date was a weekend in Botswana.
It becomes much easier to find common interests when you're opt for 'alternative' date ideas. If art isn't your thing, rediscover your city by visiting your local historical landmarks. Coffee lovers might hazard five cups, back to back, by going cafe hopping. Pick something unusual you'll be surprised by what you'll uncover.
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These are just a few of my suggestions, I'm sure you have a few of your own. Share them with us all in the comment section.
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